So here's the thing...I used to write relationship pieces for a (now defunct) website. And I enjoyed it. But I always felt a little uncomfortable with the fact that I didn't have a string of letters behind my name. Since that time, I've pretty much stuck to fiction. But you know what? If Steve Harvey can tell me when and where to give up my "cookie", fuck it. I can dish out advice too. That being said- here's what I wanna
What the hell is going on with all this "side chick" bullshit? I am soooooo sick and tired of us glorifying stupidity in our community. Yes, white people cheat too. The difference is cheating is still considered a bad thing in their world. When did it become cool to risk destroying your wife's trust in you and faith in the marriage (or relationship), having your children's lives ruined, putting yourself on the child-support block, etc.? When did being an asshole become a damned fad?
And what kind of women are out there aspiring to this level of self-hatred and delusion? I have never heard of a side chick that didn't get tired of being the side chick and blow up the whole situation; including the lives of any children involved. Everybody won't be Alicia Keys (who, coincidentally has been cheated on herself by the same dude who cheated on his wife with her...happens most of the time, btw), or Joseline Hernandez (we're all still shaking our heads trying to figure out how that whole relationship even came about).
What is the prize here? A dude who doesn't think enough of the woman he made a commitment with to respect the boundaries of human decency? Damn. Leave the woman if you're not happy. Don't be a little bitch, sneaking around and lying. Be a man. Look your kids in the eyes and tell them you won't be around anymore because it was more important to you to bounce from one bed to the next and prove to yourself that you could juggle more than one woman at a time.
One thing I do agree with Steve Harvey about is the fact that men cheat because there will always be women who are willing to cheat with them. And that's subject matter for an entire series of posts, but for now, I'll just say this: grow the fuck up. Stop allowing yourself to be used and discarded. Stop sharing dick. Stupid ass...
Anyhoo...I didn't really mean I get into that part of it. I was more intrigued by the new and disturbing trend that seems to be popping up in African American (or Urban, if you prefer that term) Fiction. Don't get me wrong, I don't knock nobody's hustle. If Street Lit is where you make your money, do your thing. People write what they want. People read what they want. But it seems that every other book that comes out these days is about some ghetto ass, lame ass "love" triangle, or square....hexagon...with some simple ass woman claiming she will emerge victorious because she's willing to do shit in bed the "wifey" won't. Or she's "down" to hide the strap in her purse...or some shit.
When are we going to evolve? When are we going to start telling REAL stories of Black Love? When is it okay for us to teach our kids that men really can be faithful and not all women are selfish gold-diggers? When are we going to raise our own standards? Again, I understand this is entertainment. But when did love, marriage and babies become based on reality TV bullshit? When did life become a game? The consequences of promoting this type of culture are far-reaching.
And it would be different if, at the end of these stories, there was some kind of redemption. A lesson learned. Something. Not so much. The often badly-written and predictable so-called cliff-hanger at the end of "Side Chick 3: the Return of Chlamidya" (not a real book, by the way, just used for example) and books like it just sets you up for more foolery and shenanigans in "Side Chick 4: Nigga Pay Yo Child Support".
Please....make it stop...